White Butterfly
by FiendisHSerapH
Summary: {SLASH} Untainted, innocent... and deadly. On a lazy afternoon, Zabusa ponders about this deceitful creature. Read AND Review, PLEASE!


**White Butterfly**   
**By: FiendisHSerapH**

  
Of course, I am human. I am not bionic whatsoever. I am human despite the fact that they regard me as a killing machine, an impious ninja designed to murder, slaughter, and ambush. 

_ "I am human, therefore I need rest." _

My back leaned on a trunk of an upper canopy tree while my eyes set back to the comforting greens of the forest. Crickets chirp from about three meters away and the gust of wind mingled freely with the loose leaves of the shrubs and grasses. I sat there, pondering if my decision was correct because if it wasn't, there's still time to change it according to the plans of the so-called gods people adore. 

Just then, when I was in the middle of my thoughts, movement registered. I was about to get my dagger when I saw who --- what --- it was. 

White, paper-like and flying with the breeze.   
Yes, it's a white butterfly. 

I laid my weapon down, feeling as if I was mesmerized by the quick fluttering movement of its wings. It flew around in a random manner; not knowing whether to go up or down. I continued to watch the small being make its way around the shrubs in an uncertain manner, ending up slightly adoring it... its simplicity, beauty and unpredictability. 

_"I'm only human, therefore I can learn how to appreciate things, the fascinating ones around me." _

In the middle of my fascination, an image burned in my mind. It is the image of a child all alone in a frosty night, shivering and sobbing about. A hand stretched out to him and the innocent lad reached for it, as if holding it will mean redemption of his soul. 

_ "I'm human, therefore I know how to sympathize." _

The butterfly was still floating around me, not stopping to keep itself aloft the air. It's beautiful, but it hides poison inside its prety wings. Just like this creature, the child who had a pretty face, a sweet smile when provoked, and expressive eyes also hides fierce feelings inside. Soon, I learned that he killed his father in anger and fear. I also found out that he has a great potential on becoming a great warrior, a great ninja like me. I trained and taught him the basics... the basics of slaughtering people down into a bloody mass of flesh. 

_ "I'm only human, therefore I can commit mistakes." _

This astonishing insect now flying around me can blind many people through the beautiful movement of its wings just as he can leave people blind, robbing them of their sight due to extreme pain and anguish, through his graceful and discreet techniques. I've awakened the poison lying deep inside his being and made him train a lot to develop these skills. 

And that, I think, is the worst mistake I've committed in my life. 

Can you guess who that child had become? 

"_Kirei..._"   
My senses were awakened by the sweet voice, the voice that's unchanging despite the many transformations I've done to him.   
I looked up and saw the product of my mistakes smiling, his mahogany-brown eyes looking straight to the pure-looking butterfly now perched up on his index finger. Moments later, he looked at me then smiled even livelier. 

_ "I'm only human, therefore... I can smile back." _

"Haku..."   
He's wearing the pink kimono he usually wears whenever he ventures on the forest alone, leaving his heavy artillery --- and fiendish attitude --- behind at home.   
His ethereal smile is an expressive way to say hello, so I let him do so. It's kind of surprising that despite the changes in skill that he had underwent, there's still a part of him that remains... 

His innocent and childlike part. It's the part that's most deceiving about him. 

"Isn't this butterfly pretty?" he questioned, that unchangeable part showing. That's the side he presents when we're off from our duties as cold-blooded ninjas. "He's continuously searching for his home," He looks at the white creature still resting on his delicate and rosy hand. 

Those hands that I've trained to kill, trained to hold lethal weapons and trained to spill blood, doesn't deserve such a job. I just imagine them holding musical instruments, a pen, or even a paintbrush... but not daggers, the things I taught him to handle. 

"He's continuously searching for a place where his mind's free and comfortable, for a place where he's openly welcome."   
"Tch, just what are you trying to say?" I let my sadist side show, though inside I feel repentant of my decision, so unsure because I doubt about what his future will bring.... I feel like I want to break down. 

_ "I'm only human, therefore I know emotions and how to use them." _

"But unlike the butterfly, I've already found the place where I belong." He smiled and looked at me. _Iie. Yameru_. Don't say that. It only hurts me more, though you don't see how it does on my face. 

"Zabusa-sensei," The untainted insect flew away as he moved towards me. He reached out those hands to me, those rosy hands I've trained to kill. "I don't know what made you think of this decision but just remember that you're the place where I belong to. No matter where I go, I'd always come back to you." 

_Iie_. You don't belong here. I admit I've trained you to belong, but still you don't. That innocence and kind-heartedness doesn't fit in this cruel world of ninjas. That sweet smile and pity would only be stained in this world where I've grown. I know more than you do, and I finally decided to stop the slow rotting of your purity that's brought by me... the purity of your smile, your eyes, and attitude. 

_ "I'm only human... and I have a heart." _

"No. Don't come back." I said it finally, as firm as steel. My mouth conveyed the words I hated to say, the thoughts that are against my will. "Don't use the skills you've earned from me... ever again." The butterfly landed on my right shoulder, as if it wants to stay there, as if that's the place where it belong. I felt my heart pour out. I felt myself sigh slightly, my shoulders not rising up just so he won't notice. 

"It's the safest way to do... to spare you, Haku." 

He stood there, facing me, his vivid eyes looking straight into mine. The wind gently carressed his fine black hair. Really, you are innocent, and I can't stand the sight of you being spoiled by the teachings I've imparted. There's still time to change the decision, but I won't. I won't, because it's the right thing to do. 

"_Sou ka... wakarimashita, Zabusa-sensei._" He nodded, blinking his now slightly watery eyes after a moment of complete silence in the woods. 

_ "You're only human, therefore you can cry..." _

"But remember that I won't forget you, Sensei. I won't..." he smiled again, masking his loneliness that's overflowing in his eyes. His eyes are so vivid, full of future ambitions... more than this. More than this life, I tell you. 

The white butterfly moved to my left hand which was resting against my half-bent left leg. My decision can be called an indecision for my part, but it isn't for him. It's **for** him, for his future, for his sake. I stooped down, having nothing left to say. There **is** nothing more to say, for it will hurt more if I'll do so. I just let the calm of the woods speak to him for me. The butterfly still fluttering its wings on my hand, never leaving... as if it doesn't have the will to leave... just like him. Seconds later, I heard his reply: 

"I might forget everything that you've taught me, except for one thing, and that's kindness. I'll never forget you, sensei, for you are the reason why I survived. I'll never forget you because I... I've loved you since then and I'll always love you. I always will." 

_To protect the ones most valuable to them_, that's a ninja's rule, and that's the rule I follow in this decision. But I never thought your regard on me will reach this high level. You love the one who spoiled you, the one who've done you a great mistake? Faithful, gentle, trusting, loving... Haku, you **are** indeed innocent. Those eyes, that untainted attitude, that smile... 

To protect the ones most valuable to them. 

"I'll never forget you, sensei." 

_ "You can cry... and so can I." _

And so will I. I'll never **ever** forget you, because I also love you.... but the time isn't right. It's just not right. 

_"I am human, therefore I can love."_

  
The white butterfly flew away... and so did he. 

  
**- OWARI -**

  
**A/N**: This fic is inspired by the white butterfly that flew over our heads during our Graduation practices. Zabusa is slightly OOC and cheesy in here, but it's what I portrayed because I just want all of you to marvel at his soft side! Ninjas have soft sides, haven't they? =) So, liked it or hated it? Please review! 

MEANINGS:   
Kirei - Beautiful   
Sensei - teacher   
Iie. Yameru - No. Stop   
Sou ka... wakarimashita, Zabusa-sensei. - I see... I understand, Teacher Zabusa. 

  
  



End file.
